Intro: BlondeandGinger sketch

Episode 1: Woodland Wonderland

A Blonde and a Ginger were out on a walk in the woods....

Ginger: HOLA tushiki!!!!
Blonde: Hi nami
ginger: so what do you wana do today?
Blonde: go on a walk?
ginger: ok.... where 2?
blonde: how bout the woods?
blonde: ok
10 hours of walking later.......
ginger: Tushiki......?
blonde: yes Nami?
ginger: Do you ever get the feeling that your being watched?
blonde: sometimes..... why?
ginger: its just that.... well..... I fort that i saw sumet move, over there in those bushes
blonde: ooooooo mayb it was a ghost? or a pixie
ginger: I was thinking more along the lines of a chav gettin ready to jump out and rape us
blonde: id like to see a chav try and rape me, id kick his ass!!!!!
ginger: lol you probably would!!! ooo thatd be soooo funny to watch, a chav finkin hes well hard and then you goin over and kikin his ass!!!! classic!!!!
blonde: id be more scared of the tree the chav was hidin behind than him!!!! lol
ginger: hehehe yeh, like that tree up ahead, pretty scary lookin eh? hey hang on whats that hangin from its branch? is that a camara????
blonde: no you freakin spaz!!!! its a birdhouse!!!! god your sooo paranoid, lighten up!!!!
ginger: soz, but i cant help it, you dont no what could be hiding in these woods.... oh god imagine if it was a camara?  
blonde: why would you put up a camara in the woods? hardly any one comes in here anyway, only old grannies walking their dogs lol
ginger: lol true, awwww bless the old people, their all so nice and.... and....
blonde: old?
ginger: no....
blonde: wrinkly?
ginger: no....
blonde: have bad breath?
ginger: NO...
blonde: they take up all the seats on buses?
ginger: NOOOOO
blonde: well what then?
ginger: i was going to say that they were sweet and inocent
blonde: HA!!!! sweet and inocent? your too nice for your own good nami, all old people are evil!!!!!
ginger: no their not tushiki !!! their harmless bless them, with their zimmer frames and their walking sticks and their medication
blonde: you must be joking!!!! they use those zimmer frames and walking sticks to beat teenagers up with!!!!! and thats not medication.... thats happy pills, where else do you think old people get all that energy from?
ginger: Well i think your wrong about old people tushiki
blonde: you really are too nice for your own good nami, youll see.... one day youll see..... old people really are evil......  
ginger: so, what do you wana do when we get back to your house?
blonde: erm..... we could go to the chippy?
ginger: what? so you can practice your japanese accent again? lol
blonde: lol just coz i iz better at japanese than the chinkys in the chippy
ginger: your doin that scaly accent again!!! lol
blonde: wot? iz it coz i am from manchester? just coz we hav tuna and chips instead of chips and gravy?
ginger: lol i bet that tastes minging
blonde: r u takin the mik out of my heratige? did u just call my mum?
ginger: lol save it for when you meet a chav in a dark ally chic
blonde: or an old lady
ginger: can u stop calling old people now plz, your guna be that age one day you no
blonde: yeh, but ill be in a lunitic asylum by that time, that way ill get my medication for free lol
ginger: lol wotcha mean ull be in an asylum when your older? ive just bailed you out from there for the 10th time and your only 16
blonde: it just shows wot a great friend you are nami, but ive got a feelin your guna have to bail me out agen some time soon
ginger: oh yeh? what are you in for this time? beatin up a chav
blonde: no..... to protect myself from the old people
ginger: oh for god sakes here we go agen, there is nothin wrong with old people!!!!
blonde: you wont be sayin that wen you get jumped by an 80 year chav for your lunch money
ginger: why would an 80 year old chav want my lunch money?
blonde: coz theyve already spent their pension on drugs lol
ginger: lol you no what, id probably die of lafter if i saw an 80 year old chav!!!! imagine it!!!!! 'wot up wrinkly!!!' lol
blonde: hehehe yeh with all their chav gear on, theyd probs fall over and break their leg becoz of the weight of their bling lol
ginger: hehehehehe lol 'hey dont skit the bling, iz it coz i is on viagra???' lol
blonde: no, its coz your ginger!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ginger: oh!!!!!! its strawberry blonde!!! get it rite!!!!
blonde: GINGER NINJA!!!!!! hahahaha old lady ninjas!!!!!!! omfg that would be so funny!!!!!
ginger: yeh it would, you no, i think id like to hav an old lady ninja for a gran, its just a shame that your neva guna see one, like i sed all old people are harmless
blonde: yeh, and im a natural blonde and your strawberry blonde!!!! lol cumon lets go 2 the chippy....
ginger: ok ill catch you up, im just guna tie my shoelace.....
( the ginge bends down 2 do her shoelace, when she hears a scream to her left, she gets up, looks round, and sees a gang of chavs running out of the bushes holding an old ladies hand bag, she hides behind a bush and listens as the chavs run past)
chav 1: young people these days, they should really be more carefull who they try and rob
chav 2: yeh, they wont be messin wiv us grannies for a long time
chav 3: what? you mean til your pensions due? lol
chav 1: cumon, lets go down to the day centre and check out the guyz
the group of old lady chavs walk off and leave a stunned Ginger behind)

Blonde: what happened to you? where hav you bin?
ginger: you no what, I think you were rite about old people, they are evil!!!!
blonde: told ya so